I am Sarcasmom...

This is not my first attempt at blogging.  Oh no, that would make way too much sense.   I actually have four previous failed attempts at blogging in the last few years or so.  I have a general run of the mill family blog, an arts and crafts blog, a photography blog, blah blah blah.   Your basic boring mainstream shit that nobody cares about reading.  You know how it is.  Everyone has a blog these days. Especially those with virtually nothing important or unique to say.  And now I am among the masses.   So why another (future failed) attempt at blogging you ask?  This blog came to fruition by request.  Many requests.  Apparently my peers find humor in my years of cat shit stories that stem from every day life with my 17 year old cat Ziggy.  A.K.A Ziggy Bubbas, Zo Zo, Son, Bobololo, Lolo, Sexy Fucker, Piggy Poo Poo Panties, as he is also affectionately referred to at times.  And yes I adore my cat. Or first child so to speak. And will be in therapy when he goes to kitty heaven one of these days.  After all, 17 cat years is like 147 human years. So we have grown up together really. Or perhaps my friends just find humor in the never ending stream of inappropriate quotes from my children (particularly my five year old daughter) that I post on Facebook.  Mostly posted to share humor with those that have any but partially for shock value with those who are so uptight or overly religious that despite their happy facade are really just closet potty mouths, miserable at the core of their being and dying to scream the F word from the rooftops.  A life of fronting must be so terribly exhausting! I can only imagine.   Now don't hate...I am a lover of Jesus.  Anyone who can walk on water is the shit in my eyes. And after all...he invented alcohol and Vacation Bible School, which lets face it, is really CODE for free childcare for five days in a row so Mommy can get some goddamn peace and quiet.  Now I probably just offended and lost half my readers right there.  Oopsy. I must admit I have always had an affinity for getting people riled up and pushing buttons.  This began at an early age.  A gift I call it.  One that many could go a whole lifetime and never acquire or perfect.  Perhaps my friends have requested that I start a blog because of the fact that I just tell it like it is and tend to not give a shit what others think.   Hmmmm? Oh the blessed irony in how what some love, others deplore.   And yes even that brings me joy. :-)  Ahhhh...it’s the little things in life that bring us the greatest pleasure.  Or perhaps it is just bi-polarity.  Who knows. Some friends recently told me I should start writing my stories and such down and before I know it I would have a book one day.  My first thought was "Are you high? Who would want to read what I have to say?”  Then I thought about it and remembered that my favorite author in the whole world, the one who brings me the most joy and laughter when I read his stories, is David Sedaris.  And that hilarity stems from a series of random short stories and recitations of his crazy life, avid sarcasm, lack of censorship, dysfunctional family and hysterical spin on his homosexuality.  And yes Kathy Griffin and I love our gays. And that was my ah-ha moment when I realized that friend of mine had just offered me some sound advice.  Why not?  Maybe I should write down my rants and sick humor spins on life.  A virtual journal so to speak. So here is my introduction to blogging in a nutshell:

Hello there.  I am a Wife and Mother of two. I love my children and husband with all my heart.  My family is my greatest joy. Although I don’t always like them and sometimes want to run down the street screaming obscenities and breaking things.  I have a potty mouth and a sharp tongue. I am inappropriate and capable of finding humor in just about anything and mocking just about anyone.  I am fluent in sarcasm.  I AM SARCASMOM!


P.S. If sarcasm, swearing, mockery (including that of religion and anything else I can think of) and potty talk offend you, then you have probably read WAY too far.