Friends, Kids, Animals and Bad Days

So it’s the morning after I started my blog and so far no hate mail.  At least not yet anyway.  But the day is still young.  I did receive lots of email feedback from my funny friends and I have one (yes you counted correctly) official follower.  And it’s a male…go figure.  A very funny and sarcastic male but still an honor that he even cares to follow me.  So a big shout out to my friend Rick from high school (who’s not even a gay but happily married to another friend from high school)– my one official blog friend!  Woot Woot! But where are my bitches at?  I came downstairs this morning to this (my dog Daisy sleeping spread eagle on the living room couch she has claimed as her own) and it just reminded me how awesome my animals have it. 

Okay so perhaps NOT all the time.......... 

Yes my animals have it good, tutus and all. When I came downstairs this morning I swear I smelled animal urine. Or maybe it was the maple syrup my son left on his plate this morning.  The verdict is still out on that one.  Either way the fact that my animals are so loved and content in their place in my home that they feel the freedom to piss and shit where they want from time to time is really the ultimate statement.  Could you imagine just eating whenever you want, getting cuddled all the time and making whatever you want your own personal toilet?  Now that is the life!  Speaking of great lives, my kids also have great lives and have it made in the shade.  They are your typical spoiled American children with umpteen expensive activities and sports, too many toys and clothes and way too much attitude.  To have the self confidence they have to strap on their set of giant balls daily and back talk, sass and shit talk is really quite something.  Apparently karma is a bigger bitch than I originally realized.  My Mom thought I was bad but I paled in comparison to the grande cajones my children have.  Due to the fact that I was raised in the 1970s and 80s, I was well aware of the pain of the old smack across the face that I received when I got too out of line.  The one that left you speechless and sniveling in your room uncontrollably for an hour afraid to come out until granted permission. My kids don't know this pain. Which is clearly why they are so brazen and fearless. Oh how liberating it must have been raising kids in the 70s and 80s without living in fear of the wrath of CPS.  Now you can’t spank your child without them practically threatening to call CPS themselves.  Oh how awesome were the 70s and 80s, especially if you live in Texas.  Shit if you were a resident of this fine state they would spank your kids for you. Score! My husband who was an air force brat got to experience this first hand. Until his Mom marched into the school and threatened them with what would happen if they ever put a hand on her child again. Can you imagine having that conversation with a principal or administrator today? And the lawsuit the would ensue if such occurred. Wow have times changed in just a couple decades. 

Those of you who are on Facebook know that I fell down the stairs the other morning. My five year old daughter A woke me up and wanted breakfast.  We were walking hand in hand as we started down the stairs. I lost my footing and slipped and fell landing on my back and hitting my head. Fortunately the mid point of the stair landing stopped me. So I only fell down about 8 or 9 stairs. But unfortunately my sweet A hit her head on the wall.  She was more scared from it all then really hurt.  She cried I held her for awhile and then she moved on and it did not hurt for long. I felt terrible. :-( It was quite the day.  How much worse it would get I had no idea. Here was last Wednesday in a nutshell: I woke up and started my period, fell down the stairs, hurt my back (which had recently just healed from pulling a muscle), hit my head and had a ridiculous headache all day, then took my sister to a nice lunch on the river before taking her to the train station to go back home, only to come back to a $457 ticket on my car because her handicap placard she has for seizures we hung in my window was expired and she apparently did not know this and I did not think to check it. So with the $88 lunch, it basically ended up being a $545 lunch that day. FUCK! Really? When it rains it pours. And if the parking in a handicap spot ticket is not bad enough, they add a $12.50 State of CA surcharge. You can shove it up your ass California! Needless to say I had reached my breaking point that day. By days end I could almost laugh about the fact that my day was so bad it was comical.

Anyways, got a little off track there.  But as I was saying about my daughter A....she is now well aware of how dangerous the stairs can be when one is very tired. That in conjunction with her sarcasm gene she inherited from her Mother and Father,  she has taken to wearing this as she heads up the stairs for bedtime and back down in the morning. The girl figure skates twice a week with no helmet but now wears one on the stairs. I think it is mostly to remind me of what a dumbass I was to fall down the stairs in the first place. And fortunately I had my camera next to me this morning to capture this when she came down the stairs this morning. Classic!

And NO SHE IS NOT HANDICAPPED OR RETARDED! Can you imagine what this child's future blog will be like some day. The apple does not fall far from the tree. :-)